all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
