he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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