I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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