i permit you to call me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So much rum. So many feels.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
