I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
