Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
