Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize