Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
