I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well I just put wine in my tea
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
