I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Fuck appropriateness.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize