His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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