whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
