I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
