You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
