Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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