Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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