sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
