There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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