I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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