Kiss
Puke
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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