doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize