I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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