I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
