Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
