Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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