I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
