Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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