I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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