please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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