When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
