Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You are the jesus of drinking
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
FUCK WHALES
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
