we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
