your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She is in my trunk
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
