no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
