My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
