my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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