sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
