We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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