Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
