I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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