hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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