when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
