we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
