I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
