I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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