Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
