wrigley field is MILF paradise
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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