Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
not ubering you a puppy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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