That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
