Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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