you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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