I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
