Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
