Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
