I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
