i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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