why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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