ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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