sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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