I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
