so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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