You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I had to cum in my sink.
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