Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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