I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
