I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
