i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
