So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I could fuck to npr.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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