I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
