we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
