Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
