She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize