yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
