im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize