doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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