you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
